The word friendship
can be confusing. When we were in Pakistan a mature Pakistani Christian woman
explained to me that our western idea of friendship with Pakistanis is not the
same as theirs’. In that situation she was referring to Pakistani Christians.
Friendship with Muslims was not even brought up. I was pretty shocked. Today I understand
better where she was coming from but at that time it left me disappointed and
confused. Looking back I believe she was probably referring more to the
expectations of friendship being different; not so much that friendship was wrong.
It is true that eastern and western understanding of friendship does have
different boundaries, expectations, and duties. Western friendship is more
compartmentalized while eastern friendship involves intense engagement in every
compartment of life. A major observation
over the decades is that Muslims are people-oriented not so much event or
program-oriented.
That was clearly observed a few weeks ago when the
mosque put on an Eid party for children. Ed and I decided to go. I didn’t see any
other non-Muslim woman there in the crowd of about 1,000. There was one
Caucasian teen-ager who had a Muslim friend. As a country Christians and
Muslims have largely become separated psychologically, spiritually, and
socially from one another. That day we had no agenda except to mingle with
them, chat, and enter into their joyful spirits. Outside on the mosque grounds children
enjoyed bouncy inflatables, pony rides, and dunk tanks. Balloon artists, a fire
juggler and fire works were major attractions. It was a time to enjoy our
common humanity. Inside the general meeting room abayas and hijabs, tasbeehs
and Qur’ans were for sale, along with pizza and pop. There was no program. Men
and women sat in segregated groups chatting while children enjoyed the fun
activities offered. They were friendly and welcoming. The question “what do you
do?” came up frequently at which I replied, “I work with the church, or I teach
the Bible to anyone interested.” My background of living in Yemen(born),
Somalia, Ethiopia, Kenya, Pakistan, USA, Canada and a short time in Tunisia
caused a quicker connection than would normally happen. “What did your parents
do in those countries?” “They were with the church and translated the Bible
into Somali,” I answered. “Why did you come here today?” was asked a few times.
“I like being with you. I like going to community things.”
Recently a pastor asked me, “Do you have any friends
among your Muslim contacts? I mean friends?” “Yes, I do. I feel comfortable among them. I
really like many of them. But…I know we cannot pray together. Our spirits are
not united in Christ.” There are levels of friendship and not to be pursued
with all, of course. There are individuals with whom it is not advisable. I
don’t believe that retreating from Muslims is the best way to move forward but
to be engaged with the community. The friendship I pursue most and guard more
than any other is my friendship with God. It is to this prized and treasured
friendship that I endeavor to point all my friends to.