"Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but
then we will see everything with perfect clarity…" I Corinthians 13:12a
We have heard Muslim women defend wearing the hijab by
stating emphatically, “We are not oppressed contrary to what other people think. We are free.
We choose to wear the hijab.” However, many Christian women remain
unconvinced of their statements believing Muslim women are oppressed and
controlled. We have two perspectives at work here: one that Muslim women are
oppressed, the other that they are free.
Some Muslim women are beaten by their husbands. Christian
women rise up in concern and object to domestic violence, even if it is a feather-light
slap. And yet, Aliya, was distressed because she wasn’t beaten by her husband.
She longed for him to beat her. “Why?” I asked shocked. “Because then I know he cares about me. If he
doesn’t get angry with me or beat me it means he has lost interest in me,” she
replied. It was hard to understand her perspective.
“Why don’t you leave your husband?” I asked Saima. I
had listened repeatedly to her complaints about his treatment of her. “You live
in this country, Saima, where you have rights. The courts would be in your
favor. Why do you continue to live in a situation when you could be free from
the abuse?” I inquired. “It’s just not me,” Saima said. “Besides Allah knows
what I endure. He sees. He will reward me,” she responded. The reward seemed to
be deeply coveted more than freedom. We viewed things from different
perspectives.
Fadia went to the women’s shelter to punish her
husband for his treatment of her. She returned to him after two weeks. It
worked. Individuals rose up in her
community who corrected him, successfully shaming him. From her perspective the
shelter was a weapon to get power over him and reform him – not to find a way
to leave, be safe, and start a new chapter.
Layla, a teenager, was upset by her dad’s control. She
decided to report him to the police which got things rolling instantly. She had
no idea what she set in motion. From her perspective she viewed reporting to
the police a weapon to get her way. She had no intention to separate the
family. From her perspective this was how she got some leverage, not a way to
protect minors. It was all about power.
The longer we spend time with Muslim women in western
nations the more we realize we often view things differently. Most of the time we
look at their situations through our democratic perspective which prizes
independence and freedom as top goals in this present life. But many of the
Muslim women I have known don’t look at life through that lens. They
yearn for Allah’s approval and his reward in the next life. Yes, there are tearful
and angry complaints and objections for sure but a common perspective I pick up
is that the more you suffer the greater the reward in the next life. The next
life often looms more important than the present life. Wise is the Christian
woman who tries to understand where her Muslim friend is coming from.
Dear heavenly Father, please set the crooked things
straight. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 
