It was thirty three years ago on July 14th that we arrived
back in Canada from our ten years of service in Pakistan. Even though it was not clear what our
ministry assignment would look like after one year away we had no clear idea at the
time that we would not be returning. All
of our belongings were put in storage with the assumption of returning. But that day never came. There have been
changes and losses in life.
The ministry Ed had in Pakistan was turned over to a capable
Pakistani man who has since passed away, the airport we landed in here is gone
even from its site, the house we lived in was moved away, our earthly
possessions put in storage in Pakistan were destroyed in a fire, the financial
support base almost entirely changed, both of our parents passed away, one of
our mission agencies no longer exists, and even the church building we got
commissioned in was turned over to another group. Pastors and mission leaders
have changed, friends have moved, children have left home and gotten married.
Initially I was not ready for anything new. We were trying
to adjust to leaving the former and making sense of present changes in their
unclear confusing state. Can’t
everything just stay the same? I would
not want to relive those in between moments of leaving the former relatively secure
activities, places, and people, and discover new ones. For a time I went
through an identity crisis because usually an identity is formed and defined by
what you do and I did not know what God had in mind for me to do!
Then…the new suddenly arrived just like the dawn of a new day.
Everything started to make sense and fall in place. All along God had been preparing me in so many
diverse ways for this present ministry in North America among Muslim women. He
had been equipping, sustaining, and stretching me for something entirely brand
new. Thirty three years ago I could not think of anyone whom I could consult about reaching out to Muslim women in my homeland. Everyone I knew was ministering in
Muslim-majority lands. Even mission agencies in that era were reluctant to
recognize ministry in the West. Today that has changed considerably. It was
like the Spirit led me to a high diving board and said “jump off”. It has been an exhilarating dive because I
have been carried into new uncharted waters by God Himself. He made the waters
and knew what lay ahead.
I think I am probably a typical woman who prefers stability
and security with a minimum of changes and risks. Maybe you can identify with
me. Perhaps you are about to embark on leaving something familiar and can’t
see the way ahead clearly. Having an identity crisis? Crying over saying good
bye to possessions, places, ministry, or people? It is painful for sure. But, I suspect a new dawn is waiting to break
forth for you, too, just like it happened to me.
Dear heavenly Father, please help me to long for You even
more than a new dawn in ministry. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 
