Saturday, April 17, 2010


Here is another post in my Conversation Ideas series.

Let’s talk about marriage today. How did you meet your husband? Did you choose whom you would marry or was that arranged by your mother and father? What do you think is better: love marriages or arranged marriages? Discuss the reasons for both of your opinions. (You could share how Ebraheem(Abraham) arranged a marriage for his son, Is-hAk(Isaac). See if she knows that story. God designed the arrangement).

When your husband was looking for a wife what kind of woman was he looking for? What kind of man did you want to marry?(Share the same with your friend).

What is the word in your language for a virgin? Are most girls virgins when they get married in your country? What if she isn’t a virgin? Do some girls, who have lost their virginity before marriage, go to a doctor and get an operation to restore virginity? What do you think about that? (If she is ready you could introduce the subject of shame, guilt, forgiveness and grace).

Share about your wedding day(s) with each other. (If you have wedding photos/video you could look at them together).

In your opinion what makes a marriage strong?

What are some of the things that can cause problems in marriage? How are marriage problems handled? Does anybody go to a professional marriage counsellor? In your culture how does a woman go about divorcing her husband if she feels she must leave him? (You can share how it happens in the West). I understand that in Islam a Muslim man can have four wives at the same time. How do you feel about that? Does a new wife cause jealousy or insecurity for the previous wife?

In the Qur’an it says men anticipate being able to marry virgins(houri – pronounced hUr-ee) in Paradise or bahisht/fardos. Do you want to go to Paradise? Why do you want to go there? In our holy Book, the Bible, it says there will be no marrying in heaven. Marriage is for earth but, at the same time our marriage can be “a taste of heaven” – meaning something that gives beauty and joy and in which God is in it and over it.