“In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.” Eph. 6:15
When we are involved in ministry among Muslims we will occasionally be baffled and alarmed by some of the doubts that will barrage us. They can be so shocking that we don’t dare share them with anyone else lest people suspect that we have lost it.
Rhonda confided in me that she had been raised in the church and hadn’t engaged in dialogue with anyone from a different faith persuasion. But now she had met Muslims who kept insisting that Jesus is not the Son of God. Their objections actually sounded quite logical and convincing. She began to search on the internet about teaching on Jesus being the Son of God. That led her into a wilderness journey of confusion. The more she searched the more she began to question whether she had come to believe in the Christian view simply because that was how she was raised. She didn’t have the courage to disclose her doubts with another Christian. She felt guilty having those doubts. Thankfully, today she has come to believe by faith that Jesus is the Son of God and is at rest. I know of another Christian woman who had doubts about the Trinity and couldn't find the answers even though she had gone to Bible School. Today she is married to a Muslim man.
Paulina could hardly disclose her doubts to me it gave her so much pain. She experienced deep fatigue after ministering to Muslims. It haunted her making her doubt her spirituality. She castigated herself that she must have some hidden sin that was not being confessed because she would fall into such fatigue. I assured her that was not the case and that I had experienced exactly the same thing until I realized that it was the consequence of a power surge going out of me and I needed to be replenished. In the beginning we don’t fully comprehend the invisible spiritual forces we encounter which can leave us drained as we engage on the front line of spiritual battles. Paulina felt a tremendous relief that it didn’t mean that something was wrong with her. Doubts are overwhelming and unwelcomed fiery arrows hurled at us in Muslim ministry.
I, along with others, have experienced doubts about if I will make it on the long haul ministering among Muslims. I’m not super strong physically. I wonder if my health will take the stresses. I question whether I can handle the social isolation from Christians who can’t identify with Muslim ministry. And how can I structure my days when nothing is predictable? Some harbor resentment and strong dislike for Muslim men and fear they might lose their cool and blow it by saying something regrettable. We can doubt whether God can give us enough love or compassion or respect. Some have strong doubts about the church after observing close knit community among Muslims. I know women missionaries who have left their husbands and children and married Muslim men or single women who have gotten swept off their feet by Muslim men. We need to disclose our doubts and struggles to at least one trusted person. If that person cannot help you find another person.
Dear heavenly Father, please help a sister who is struggling immensely right now with a doubt. Lead her to a trusted listener. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
